Tuesday, August 21, 2007

i'm bursting

the pressure is getting greater. the influence is getting stronger. wondering if i should allow myself to be defeated by this monster or to stand my grounds and ignore everything. i want to get out of it but how?

i wish for more time to myself, to think and reflect and most importantly to get my studies right. already i'm seeing stars in NEJ's class. so stressful to be in his class. calls ur name whenever ur card appears at the top. and half the time i don't get what he is talking about. how to pass aa201??

i know i won't want to get out of this. simply because i hate the idea of tongues wagging. but again, tongues will still wag even when i stay put. so what's the point? stay.

have been sick for the past week. slept so much over the weekend.. got so moody. thanks dad and mum for all the care and concern. at this point in time, a lump is in my throat and i just feel like letting it all out. all the pressure has accumulated and i'm bursting.

decided to ignore the comparison. cos i lead my own life and u lead urs. so what if u're more known to the rest? i don't give a damn. you're bothering yourself with so much problems of others and i'm not so stupid to get myself green over it.

might be heading to chiangmai in dec for a week. a much needed getaway it is.

hurry and bring me the next holiday!

learning to smile,
ks

Monday, August 13, 2007

Rantings...

It is by no coincidence that I'm blogging one month later. I just feel the urge to get everything out of me!

School has just started for a week. A new year, a new set of apprehensions and changes. Another cycle of uncertainties which I wish I could dig a hole and bury my head deep in. Could it be a case of extreme sensitivity?

Sometimes I believe I have feelers more sensitive than that of an insect's. But yet I do not know how to protect or defend myself.

Yes, I'm a procrastinator.. I live for the present, simply refusing to worry for tomorrow.

Waiting for things to settle down and life to be back on track.. Seriously can't wait to graduate in 2 years' time and say bye bye to school and exams forever!

Dearie, not sure if you're going to be reading this but we're going to brave through all these together.. How can the 2 of us be living in such shit? drop me an sms when u read this ya? I can't wait for some KAP time!

I love myself.